Saturday, June 6, 2009

God moment proceed with caution!!!!!

I had this God moment today and knew I was meant to share it with all of you, after you read it you can say WHAT?????? But true story it happened to me today.

For 35 years I have CHOSEN to bury and not deal with the grief of loosing my father. He passed away when I was 4 in a car accident just blocks from our house.Today was the day I had to deal with it. God has been calling me for well over a week to visit the cemetery where my sweet daddy is buried. Today I gave in and went. It is a 12 mile drive to the middle of nowhere.Today was the day I stopped running, actually God let me get one more run in.
I went ALONE to my fathers grave. I cried all the way there. Telling God I was ready to surrender all. I would walk His road, teach His word, do anything He asked of me.
I got out & stood in front of his grave. I told him how much I had missed him and several other things, then got back into the car. My heart was still very heavy.I just sat there and cried out to God. "What, what do I do now"? "I am here, I said goodbye". God replies" your not done". I said yes I am! "no your not".Ok God , what do you want me to do? He whispers " though you will walk through the valley of the shadows of death you will fear no evil, I will never leave you nor forsake you". OK 2 scriptures combined??? I am still parked next to my fathers grave which is on the end of the cemetery with a long road in front of me. God says " This is the last time you will run from this grief, let me take it. I will give you peace". "Now get out of your car & run, run to the end of this road and back and do not stop." Ok God but people will look at me like I am CRAZY......A women running in a cemetery that faces a major highway in the middle of the country. He says," YOU GET OUT & RUN"! I did just that , I ran & ran. I have a peace today like I have never known before. Thank you God, you always know what I need and the STRANGEST ways to make me get it.
Today looking around the cemetery, it wasn't tombstones or death I saw, It was a beautiful garden.When God speaks or the spirit nudges you listen. This didn't have to take 35 years but God doesn't give up on anyone.
I hadn't visited my fathers grave in 15 years , until my visit today.
How was your Saturday Afternoon?????


Liska said...

That was such a beautiful experience to share with us. I am glad God was with you on your path to re-visit your Dad and the grief. Well done on being so brave, and well done to God on helping you through. I spent my Saturday with my friend from work. Me and my husband drove an hour and a half to visit him and his wife and two little girls. We had a beautiful day and I really enjoyed it.
Liska xxxx

Morgan said...

What an incredible test of faith....God knows our hearts and the desires of hearts and the HURTS of our hearts and He only wants to calm us, complete us and comfort us! I truly believe that you when you are faithful and obedient to what God calls you to to the road and back...He will bless you more than you will ever imagine....Belinda...get ready for His floodgates to open...because you are going to have to prepare yourself for what God has in store for you now!!!!!!! Be prepared to get blessed!!!! Thank you for sharing!

Dawn Jenkins said...

I had a God moment myself on Saturday. I have been needing to tell someone I forgive them for over a month. I finally picked up my phone and sent a text (I know not really the best way, but I got it done). I felt the most joyful, peaceful feeling as soon as I hit "send". Thank you for sharing today! I love you. I will call you today if I get a chance. Love ya!
BTW - good music - Hillsong has some good fast music "One Way" "My Reedemer Lives" "The Stand" and the song "My Savior Lives" by New Life Worship. Mandisa's "Only The World" That's all I have off the top of my head!

Shanda said...

Belinda~I'm so glad that you went. That you listened; that you obeyed and that God has released the grief and replaced it with peace. Every time I go back to my home state I end up going to the graveyard that is home to both of my parents. It is always emotional; and yet peaceful. It is out in the middle of no where and inevitably there are always deer there. It is easy to hold onto grief; it's almost as if you think you can hold onto your loved one by doing it; like if you don't you are dishonoring them in some way. But those are lies. It was when I let go of the grief that I was finally able to fully embrace my heavenly Father - to ask Him to fill those places in my heart that were longing for a father.

*HUGS!* God has good plans ahead girl.

Ginger said...

Wow. Your blog post really touched my heart today. Isn't it funny how we resist what the Lord wants us to do sometimes? I know I have had moments where he was telling me what to do and I was saying, "" You know who won out! :)

I'm sorry for the grief you have over losing your father, but rejoice at the peace in your heart your other Father has given you. God Bless you!

Charla (SHar-la) said...

WOW! I've been gone for a few days...what a BLESSING to come home and read that! I had a similar moment with God I'll have to tell you about some time! That is one of my biggest desires is to always be able to hear his voice when He is speaking to me. You were obedient and will be blessed for it! I love you, friend! And what about dinner on the 20th? Is that still happening?

Cotton Blossom said...

Loved this. Thank you so much for sharing.

Keystone said...

Saturday, June 6th was my birthday.

My mother was born May 21, 1921 and died May 21, 2008.... precisely Four Score and Seven Years of life.

On two hands, you can count the number of times I have NOT visited her grave since she was buried.
On my birthday, I added flowers galore around her stone, then to my twin sister's stones, gabbed with the mom who was burying her daugher that next week, as she surveyed the family plot, ...prayed a bit, waved to the man down a block away who visits his wife every time I am there, and watched the grave diggers prepare for an unknown neighbor to join my mom's section.

It is busy in a cemetary. Some come with grief, some with memories, some with respect, some with honor.

I find it holy ground. There is a portal to heaven we each walk alone. When I am close to mom's grave, I am close to that portal.
Her final words to me were:
"Tell me again where we are going to meet in heaven".
And I did. (just inside the middle gate of the Eastern folks gather there).

I like to hear how God "talks" to people.
It gives me a chance to see if that is how he talks to me. He has a marvelous sense of humor, eh?

Go back one more time.
Not in grief.
In thanksgiving for what he has done.
He will be there again.

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